Sin Read online

  Her hand stopped moving as she eyed me with fear. The thing wasn’t big, only a few inches long. I chuckled. “It’s not going to fucking bite you.” Turning it on, the soft hum filled the room. “Use it on your clit,” I held it out and watched her nervously take it.

  The first touch of my little toy on her clit had her gasping. After a few seconds the blush left her cheeks and she bit down hard on her lip. My cock jumped at the action. I knew it was turning her on. “Don’t stop until you come.”

  She closed her eyes, and really began rubbing it over her clit. I could tell how close she was and almost growled in anticipation. Hell, I wanted her to get off probably as much as she needed to. “That’s it baby, you cum hard!”

  Her soft cry of pleasure resonated in my mind so loud, she might as well have screamed. Anya coming undone was one of the sexiest sights I’ve ever witnessed. Fuck I wanted to taste that sweetness between her thighs!

  Moving away, I knew if I didn’t do something about my own needs, I was going break my own rules. Pulling down my shorts, I grabbed my cock and began pumping. Her eyes glued to my best friend made me almost spill it then.

  I stroked my cock and looked into those fucking gorgeous eyes, and fuck yeah I was thinking about having those sexy lips wrapped around the head. She never looked away and when I came, it was one of the most intense loads I’d shot in a long time.

  I wanted to climb up in the bed and enjoy the relief, but I had things to do. “Now you know how to work that pussy, let’s get back to training.”

  The blush was back on her cheeks and I couldn’t stop the smirk. “Keep the toy baby, you can practice with it when you’re alone.” I walked into the bathroom to clean off.

  “Clean up quick I want to work that ass a little more before I let you go home.’

  I watched her pick up her discarded pants and run into the bathroom, shutting the door. It didn’t take a genius to get that she was embarrassed. Not my problem, I told myself. She wanted to play in my world she needed to grow some thicker skin.

  She walked out five minutes later, not looking me in the eye. I grabbed the little discarded toy, and went back into the bathroom. Using some cleanser, I washed it and put it back in the box. Handing it over to her I smirked. “Let’s go.” I walked back to the studio, knowing she’d follow.

  She slid the little toy into her purse and I thought about her using it at home later. We didn’t talk as I worked her through the beginner steps again. I didn’t need her to speak. She got the moves down I wanted, and that was good enough for me. I wanted to fuck her, there was no getting around the fact. We don’t always get what we want.

  After an hour of going through the basics, I decided it was time to end for the night. “You did good. Be back here after work tomorrow.”

  “Thanks.”

  I could see she wanted out of here. I didn’t know what was going through that pretty little brain of hers. She’d kept her eyes on the mirror as we practiced, but now that we were done, she wasn’t looking at me again.

  This was how it needed to be. I didn’t want or need a little innocent in my life. She sure as fuck didn’t need someone like me in hers. “I’ll walk you out.”

  She nodded and I wanted to kick my own ass. What the hell was I doing? I acted like some pussy walking her to the front door. Fuck that shit, I should have let her find her own way out. Didn’t stop my ass from leading her to the door and waiting until she climbed into the car. I even watched her drive off. Fuck I was pathetic.

  chapter six

  Doubt

  I made it back to the dorms in a daze. My head filled with what happened tonight. I’d just had my first orgasm and Sin watched. There weren’t words for what that made me feel. I knew he didn’t care for me as a person, and I guess I felt dirty? Maybe dirty wasn’t the right word. Naughty?

  I wanted his fingers touching me. I imagined what it would feel like if he’d plunged those thick digits inside of me. Feeling ashamed of myself I walked back to the shower. I waved at my roommates as I went by. I couldn’t talk to them yet, I needed to clean up. The rag I’d used at Sin’s still left me feeling a little sticky. Maybe it was just mental.

  I stripped off my clothes and jumped in the shower. Scrubbing until my skin felt raw, I still didn’t feel clean. Why was I such a prude? So what, I’d touched myself? It wasn’t like it was a crime to feel pleasure. Mentally arguing with myself, I dried off quickly and slid on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. I pulled the box out of my purse that Sin gave me and tossed it on the chest of drawers. So what if I now had my own personal sex toy? Groaning, I looked at the box in disgust.

  I didn’t have much time to be a kid growing up the way I did. Sexual gratification was the last thing on my mind in my adolescent years. My mom had raised me and my baby brother on her own after my dad died.

  She struggled to make ends meet. I’d done random babysitting jobs until I turned sixteen. Then I’d taken a part time job to help pay rent. Dad never had a lot of money, and there’d been no insurance when he died. He was a healthy man. I can only assume neither him nor my mom thought a tragic car accident would claim him.

  Burke was only twelve now and I knew mom was still struggling to pay bills. Going to college hadn’t been an idea I’d even considered. It was mom that demanded I go out and better myself. She told me there was no way she’d allow me to end up like her.

  I thought she was the best mother in the world. Her lack of money didn’t make her a bad parent. She’d always done whatever she could to make sure we had a decent meal and a roof over our heads. It killed me when I left for college. The only reason I’d given in was; one, I couldn’t disrespect her wishes, and two I hoped to help ease her load when I finished school.

  I wasn’t going to tell her about this dancing thing. I knew my mom, she wouldn’t judge me, but she would worry. My head was just all confused. I wanted to call her up and talk about my feelings, but I didn’t want to add more to her plate. I tried to do everything I could for myself because I knew she’d kill herself trying to help me out.

  This wasn’t helping. I made my way out to the living area of our dorm and plopped down on the couch. I needed to stop thinking and just relax for a while. “I’m craving pizza. You guys want to go in halves?”

  “I’m game.” Kimberly was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of noodles. She stood up and walked them over to the counter. “I eat any more of this crap and I’m puking.”

  Grinning, I knew just how she felt. Since I started at Sin’s I never bought Potted meat or noodles any more.

  “I’m strapped until the end of the month, sorry guys.” Lana shrugged apologetically. I knew she was counting pennies just like I’d been.

  “I’ll cover your part.” She needed some calorie rich food. I could tell she’d lost a few pounds and she didn’t need the weight loss.

  “You must be making killer tips at the club?”

  I nodded. Lana was about the furthest from judgmental, so I didn’t mind sharing. She was dealing with her own issues of recently coming out. “Yeah, and the owner let me borrow a car until I get mine fixed.”

  “No way! Are you sleeping with him?” Kimberley turned to me, her expressive brown eyes wide.

  “Nah, he’s just being nice because I’m going to start dancing.” Sin and nice. Those two words didn’t seem to go together. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.

  “Not to get in your business, but stripping? I thought you were still a virgin.” Lana rarely had a mouth filter and I laughed harder.

  When the giggles subsided I managed to reply. “I’m not going to sleep with men, I’m just going to dance.” I walked over to the phone and ordered a large meat lover’s pizza. The conversation stopped while I ordered, but I could see the questions in their eyes.

  “It’s no big deal.” Well it was, but I didn’t want to make it seem to be. “Sin is training me to dance. I’m hoping I can pay off the car repairs and maybe send some money home to my mom.”


  “You falling for this guy?” Lana was eyeing me suspiciously and I had to wonder if my face showed how I felt about Sin.

  “He’s beautiful to look at, but he doesn’t sleep with employees.” And that was the crux of the matter. I think if Sin had agreed to be my first, I would have taken the opportunity. It was a shocking revelation. I knew he made me feel things I didn’t understand. Until that moment I didn’t realize that I actually wanted him to be my first.

  “Be careful. You’re a nice girl and seriously men like that, well I’m not sure you can trust them.”

  I was offended that Kimberly was talking about Sin that way when she didn’t know him. “He’s not that kind of man.” Part of me wished he was. It wasn’t like he didn’t have me in his bed naked earlier tonight. If he’d have wanted me, I would have been easy to have.

  “Sounds to me like you’re falling for this guy.” Leave it to Lana to see the truth.

  “It really doesn’t matter. He’s not interested.” Admitting that left a hollow pit in my stomach.

  “Unless he’s gay I’m sure he’s interested.” Lana laughed, and I blushed. I knew she was gay, but that wasn’t my thing.

  “If you ask me, keeping things business like is a smart idea. You don’t need to get hurt by some man who probably goes through women like beer cans.”

  Kimberly was really starting to annoy me. “You don’t even know him. How can you say he’s like that?” I didn’t want to be upset with her, but her attitude was very hypocritical.

  “He owns a strip club. He exploits women for a living. How can he not be a womanizer?” She shrugged, and looked at me in disgust. “Honestly, I don’t know how you can think of degrading yourself that way.”

  “You have a right to your opinion. I just don’t happen to share it.” I knew how conservative Kimberley was. My admitting to becoming a stripper probably damned me to hell in her eyes.

  “I’m sure it’s just killing you to be living with a lesbian and a stripper now.” Lana laughed.

  I felt a bad for her in a way. I’d always taken her side on most of the morality issues, and now I couldn’t defend her. “Let’s just drop it and remember we’re all friends.”

  “Fine. Just remember my warning. I really do care and don’t want you getting hurt.” Kimberley was pouting and I hated knowing she was upset with me.

  “I’ll remember the advice.” A knock at the door stalled the conversation. I can’t say I’ve ever been so happy to see the pizza delivery guy before. I covered the tab, and gave him a small tip.

  We sat around stuffing our faces with pizza. The atmosphere was not comfortable and I wished we could just forget our disagreement. The dynamics in our relationship were changing. I made a mental note not to bring up the dancing again with Kimberley.

  chapter seven

  Lift Off

  Arriving at Sin’s house the next night was easier said than done. There were so many confusing thoughts running through my mind. He was unlike any man I’d known before, and I didn’t know what to expect.

  A part of me hoped he would teach me more about my own sexuality, while the good girl in me balked at wanting such things. Needless to say I was an emotional mess when he opened the door to let me in.

  He was all professionalism as we walked back to the studio. “Get warmed up and I’ll find some music for you to use.”

  It seemed to me he was avoiding eye contact tonight. Walking over to the pole I stretched my leg up, and overextended into a full split. Staring up the pole, I wondered how much I remembered from my gymnastic days. Reaching higher up on the cool steel, I pulled my legs around it and climbed.

  My dad had made me do pull ups on the uneven bars every day we practiced. Obviously some things you don’t forget. The muscles in my arms weren’t as strong as they’d once been, but I was still able to reach the top rather quickly.

  “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?” Sin’s voice coming from below shocked me.

  I lowered down to my feet, and shrugged.

  “You weren’t born a monkey girl, so spill it.”

  Talking about my dad to anyone was something I rarely did. “Before my dad died he trained me in gymnastics.” I shrugged again, not wanting to make a big deal about it. The truth was it still hurt to remember how close we’d been.

  His eyes moved over my form and I crossed my arms over my chest. It wasn’t that I minded him looking at me, but the intensity in his eyes was a little much.

  “Show me what else you know about bars.”

  “Most of what I did was on uneven bars, this is a little different. “

  “Just get your ass on the pole and show me what you can do.”

  His exasperated tone made me angry. I had no clue what he wanted. “Fine.” Glaring at him, I reached up high on the pole and lifted myself. I really didn’t know what I was capable of here, and it was a challenge.

  I allowed my legs to grip the pole, and lowered my body, head hanging down. It was a little different doing this sideways, but I discovered it wasn’t that hard. When I began to lose the grip with my legs, I raised my body until my hands could grasp the pole again.

  “Shit that’s good.”

  He actually smiled at me. My heart raced in pleasure at pleasing him. I dropped to my feet.

  “Back up a minute. I’m going to show you a move and I want you to try and mimic it.”

  I stood back several feet and watched as he raised his body with his massive arms and spun. He curled his legs and slowly lowered down the pole. I couldn’t help it, I giggled. Not that Sin didn’t look gorgeous, but spinning around like a ballet dancer ticked my funny bone.

  He found his feet and smirked at me. “Go ahead and laugh little girl. It’s not as easy as it looks.” He motioned to the pole and my laughter stopped.

  I was determined to prove I could do this. He moved away, and I took a deep breath. I did a run toward the pole and grabbed it, spinning around, then I landed flat on my butt.

  He chuckled as he stared at me sitting there red-faced on my backside. “Not so easy is it little lily?”

  Angry at his mocking, I stood up. Using a little less momentum, I moved quickly to the pole, jumping and grasping it firmly. I managed to spin without hitting the ground this time. When my eyes met his, I was the one smirking. “Not that hard.”

  His gorgeous face filled with a serious intensity. “This has potential. Try that again, this time scissor your legs when you spin.”

  I did that several times until he nodded his head. “That’s pretty fucking impressive. Most girls have trouble learning to use the pole.”

  I smiled at his compliment. We worked for the next hour on different moves, and I didn’t laugh again as he demonstrated movements. My arms and legs were beginning to throb when he finally called an end to the pole lessons.

  “I’m guessing you were a decent gymnast?”

  The question shocked me. He had never gotten personal before. “I had a good teacher.”

  “Why’d you give it up?” I could hear the sincerity in his question and I wanted to be honest.

  “My dad died when I was thirteen, and we didn’t have money for lessons. Besides it was kind of our thing, so after that I just didn’t want to do it anymore.” Just remembering those days brought tears to my eyes.

  “Fuck little lily, didn’t mean to make you cry.” He pulled me into his lap. “Let’s focus on something else.”

  I was shocked as he held me in his arms. I needed to say something because his embrace felt too good. “Why do you keep calling me lily?” I needed to focus on anything except the warmth of his strong arms around me.

  He was sitting Indian style on the floor, and I was facing away from him in his lap. I could see the strange look in his eyes from the mirror as he held me. “You remind me of the flower.” He shrugged and didn’t say anything more.

  This big man and flowers didn’t fit in my mind. “So your other profession is botany?”

  “You think too damn much. Let’
s see if we can make you feel instead.” He reached down and grabbed my hands, pulling them over my sports bra.

  Talk about a change in situation. My heart rate shot through the roof. My breasts automatically felt heavier, and my nipples hardened.

  With his large hands covering my own, he entwined our fingers and rubbed in circular motions over my mounds. “Take off the bra.” It was a demand, and he didn’t give me time to follow it. His hands moved fast, pulling it up and over my head in seconds.

  My hands automatically lifted to help him out. I couldn’t even remember what we’d been talking about as he brought my hands back to my chest and began rubbing them over the hardened peaks again.

  Closing my eyes, I just wanted to feel. A soft moan escaped my lips. There was something so erotic about him making me touch myself.

  “Open your fucking eyes lily.” His soft growl in my ear, feeling the roughness of his stubble against my cheek, left me no choice.

  “Pinch your nipples hard.”

  His words had a direct line to my sex, because the muscles there clenched automatically. I didn’t question him, I just followed his orders. The pleasure was exquisite. He gave me little time to enjoy the sensation. Tutoring my own hands, he moved them under the fullness and lifted. Lifting one of my hands to his mouth, he sucked a finger deeply.

  I could have found release right then. Having my finger in Sin’s mouth was about as close to heaven as I could imagine being. He lowered my hand to my nipple, and rubbed the wetness over the hardened peak. I couldn’t help it I squirmed in his lap.

  “Stand up and take them off.” His eyes were focused on my shorts, and I didn’t pretend not to know what he meant. I stood, turning away from him and drew them, and my panties down my legs before stepping out of them.