1st (Love For Sale) Read online

I tried really hard not to run to the safety of the bathroom, but probably failed miserably. I needed a few minutes to get myself together. By the time I locked the door behind me, I was breathless. McKayla was right, this was a stupid idea. Standing in this luxurious en-suite surrounded by more conveniences than any one person should have, I stared at my reflection in the oversized mirror. The damn thing even had a television hanging over one of the most indulgent deep-soaker bathtubs I’d ever seen.

  What the hell am I doing here? I silently asked my reflection. Turning on the faucet, I splashed water over my arms, trying to cool down the heat that suddenly moved through my entire body. My thick, shoulder length brown hair wasn’t helping with the hot factor, and I lifted it off my neck, wetting it as the panic set in.

  Hazel eyes stared back at me, filled with fear and the impossibility of the situation I’d placed myself in. I wondered what he saw in me that I missed. All I could see was a petite, average-looking woman who was fortunately blessed with clear skin and defined cheek bones.

  I wasn’t wearing an ounce of makeup, because I never did when I was working. There was nothing remotely glamorous about me, just your average girl next door. And here I was standing it what could only be considered a palace. Gripping the quartz tiled sink in a firm grip, I knew there was no way a man like Seth could truly want me. I convinced myself to walk out there and tell him this was all a mistake.

  The words never had a chance to leave my mouth. Instead it fell open as I noticed he was stripped down to his boxers. He stood there showing off a sculpted physique that would have made any woman want to touch. Wide shoulders met my gaze, with six-pack abs, long powerful legs, and a smooth chest that had my hands aching to press against it. The man was seriously walking sin personified.

  “Do you like what you see?” A smirk appeared on his gorgeous face as he stared at me forcing my eyes to lower. “Oh, baby you have no idea how sexy that is, but right now I want to see those beautiful eyes.” He closed the distance between us and lifted my chin. “You’re a little overdressed, I think we should fix that.” His hands quickly moved to the hem of my shirt, pulling it up. Without thought I raised my arms giving him the access to lift it over my head. He made short work of my bra, leaving me standing there topless, just like I’d been on the stage. “So fucking beautiful.” His hands cupped the weight of my breasts, fingers lightly grazing over my already hardened nipples.

  “I’m not beautiful.” My voice was whisper soft and I moaned as the pleasure of his fingers sent tingling sensation straight to my core.

  “You are whatever I say tonight, remember that.” He rolled my nipple between two fingers, and any thought I had of denying his words flew out of my mind. “Responsive too, that’s something you can’t fake.” One of his hand moved downward and cupped my sex through the shorts I was wearing and I cried out softly at the pressure.

  “I like that. I like that a lot.” That hand cupping my sex moved up to the waistband of my shorts, along with his other hand, and he quickly slid them down my legs. I stepped out of them, again without thinking, and nearly lost my balance when he cupped my sex again through the thin layer of my panties.

  The desire seeped through the tiny covering I wore and knew I’d never been this turned on in my life. I moved my hands to his shoulders to balance myself, and he chuckled warmly. I had no idea why the slightest touch from this man turned me on so much, and I didn’t want to think about it either.

  I caught my breath as he grabbed me by the waist, lifting me and sitting me on the edge of the bed. “We should talk, but all I can think about is seeing how fast I can make you come.”

  In some strange daze, I sat there staring at him, even when his hands lifted my ass and quickly pulled off the last barrier of clothing I had on. He spread my legs quickly, pushed me back on the bed, and his head fell between my thighs. I was nowhere near prepared when his tongue lapped over my clit, sending a myriad of pleasurable sensations racing through my body.

  My hands clenched the comforter as he plunged deep into my core repeatedly, leaving my mind in a completely overwhelmed state. This was like nothing I’d ever felt before. All I could do was whimper nonsense words as he pleasured me. He feasted on my core like it was the most enjoyable treat, and before I could catch my breath, I came undone completely.

  At my scream of pleasure, he stood and pulled off his boxers, giving me little time to think about what he was doing, or view his overwhelming anatomy. He moved over to the bedside table, retrieved a condom, ripped the package open, and had it on faster than I thought was humanly possible. “I can’t wait. Later I’ll take things slow.” He pulled my ass to the very edge of the bed, came between my legs, and before I even understood what he was doing, he thrust through the barrier of my innocence, leaving me shattered.

  I screamed at the agonizing pain, angry that all the pleasure had left abruptly to be replaced by something so horrible. “Stop!” I wanted to punch him in the face, or rip off his dick, which was the thing causing me such discomfort. Unbidden, tears streaked down my cheeks and I pushed wildly at his chest, trying to get him off of me.

  “What the fuck?” He stilled on top of me, making no movement whatsoever as he stared down into my eyes. “Tell me you’ve done this before.”

  It felt like time stood still as I tried to accommodate his large size filling me. My entire body tensed, with a feeling of being ripped apart. I didn’t want to talk. Crawling into some corner to lick my wounds was a superior idea, and I shook my head slowly. I hated this. I seriously thought that women should be slapped in the face for saying there was anything remotely pleasurable in this act of being speared.

  “Fuck. Forgive me, kitten. I’m not going to move. Just breathe.” True to his word, he didn’t budge, but what I wanted more was for him to get off me. I hated this sensation of being impaled and kept in place.

  I struggled until I discovered that increased the pain, and then I stilled barely even taking a breath. The man was huge, and I could feel him throbbing inside me. The burning sensation was starting to lessen, but I felt almost overly full and it wasn’t comfortable. “I don’t like this.” I wasn’t sure if I was telling him that, or just reminding myself that this sex thing really sucked.

  He chuckled in a self-depreciating way, and moved his hand to brush my hair out of my face. The movement forced him deeper inside of me and I groaned. “I’m sure you don’t right now, but I can make it better.” I rolled my eyes at his lie, and he grinned. “Trust me.”

  Since I was basically at his mercy, I didn’t see that I had much choice. With a heavy sigh, I nodded my acceptance, sure he was just trying to do whatever it was men did to make them enjoy this shit. His smile brightened and those full lips that I’d admired earlier tonight found mine. The kiss was definitely better than the sex, and I tentatively met his tongue with mine as it slipped into my mouth.

  This I liked. My eyes closed as our tongues danced together. Without him moving that huge organ, the pain slowly receded. I began to enjoy the hardness of his smooth chest against the softer fullness of my breasts. My hands released the comforter that I’d been clenching on to for dear life, and moved around his back, enjoying the hard, but smoother skin there.

  “Put your legs around my waist, sweetheart.” He broke the kiss long enough to speak those words, then returned to exploring my mouth. I followed his order, the action pulling him deeper inside of me, and I wasn’t sure if that was something I really wanted.

  Lifting his head and upper body, he gazed down into my eyes. He inched out of my clenching core, and the sense of relief had me relaxing. “Just trust me.” Without warning he carefully filled me again, and while it wasn’t excruciating like the first time, I wasn’t sure it really felt good.

  Tensing again, I held my breath as he retreated once more using the same care. The next gentle thrust I felt something other than pain, and I met his eyes with mine, confused. He continued with the slow retreat and pushes until my body began building with that a
che of need again. My feet dug into his ass, wanting to press him deeper inside.

  “Better now?” His face was tense, and even in my ignorance, I understood it hurt him to be so restrained. With a small nod, I allowed my hands to grip his shoulders, waiting for whatever he decided to do next. “Just feel, baby, feel and do what your body craves.”

  His thrusts increased and instead of feeling pain, I was amazed at the sensation of friction that had me wanting to follow his movements with my own hips. Meeting his actions, I found I could keep a rhythm as he tutored my body in the way of making love. This was strangely pleasurable and I wanted more than the simple back and forth movements as my need increased.

  “More.” Demanding softly, I understood he could make this better.

  With a warm chuckle, he shook his head and increased his pace. “Greedy little beauty, aren’t you? Tonight, you get your way.” What he said wasn’t nearly as important as the way he began thrusting inside of me, making me long to find fulfillment again.

  “Please.” My hips raised to meet each push of his cock deeper inside, and it was almost unbearable, the need it gave when he slid almost free over and over again.

  “Hold on tight, baby.” I took his words literally and gripped his shoulders as he unleashed his passion. I wasn’t aware two people could love this ferociously, and my body seemed to crave the fast, hard thrusts that left me almost breathless in their intensity.

  His thrusts were almost unforgiving and I crashed over the edge of pleasure so hard, I saw pinpoints of light. It was so incredibly amazing, that even as he continued to ride my body I just held on in astonishment. I could feel him so deeply in me that when he came, the sensation even through the condom throbbed, constricting my already contracting flesh.

  Supporting his upper body with his arms, his forehead fell against mine as he strained his hips to press inside me more deeply. I rested underneath him in stunned wonder, never having known that making love could be so intense. After long seconds, he slowly inched out of me. I whimpered softly, feeling again the rawness of being taken my first time.

  “You and I have much to discuss, little kitten.” I watched him in fascination as he removed the condom, tossing it in a trashcan at the top of the bed. “For now, we need to get you more comfortable.” Walking back over to me, he gave me no warning before picking me up in his arms and making his way to the bathroom.

  Lowering me to my feet on the cool tile, he opened the glass shower door, turned on the rain nozzle and for a moment I was in awe of the sight. Then I remembered I was standing there completely naked, and my arms covered my breasts. It didn’t matter that we’d just been as close as two people could be, I barely knew this man.

  He turned back to me and smiled. “Precious.” Holding out a hand, I dropped one of my arms, still covering my breasts with the other. He pulled me inside the shower and led me under the water. “No sense in hiding now, kitten.” His free hand pulled my arm away and he glanced over me with a wink. “I’m greedy, too, I like to see.”

  I was somewhat amazed when he stood there staring at me under the heated stream. His smile widened, but he gave me a reprieve from his scrutiny as he lathered his hands with a creamy, manly scented soap. Motioning with his head for me to move toward the back of the shower, I followed his instructions in confusion. Those beautiful hands found my body, and cleansed me as if I were some precious treasure, making me ache to feel the passion he gave again.

  I’d never felt so cherished until his hands moved between my thighs, giving me the most personal hygiene of my life. Only the soreness took away from the sensations, and I stiffened. He carefully led me back under the water to rinse off and I got the first real look at the part I’d missed earlier.

  Outside of some pornos that McKayla had bought us to watch, I’d never seen a man nude, so it was an experience. From his washboard abs, my gaze traveled lower, and I couldn’t believe his impressive cock had been inside of me. The man was very well endowed, possibly bigger than the ones I’d seen in the movies. Continuing to stare, it grew even larger and my eyes widened.

  “Kitten, you definitely make a man feel like a god.” He chuckled deeply, the sound heating my flesh as if he’d touched me. I was fascinated with his body and decided to return the favor by filling my hands with the creamy soap. My hands were shaking as I washed his smooth, wide chest, muscled arms, and trembled even more when I gripped the steel silkiness of his cock.

  Without any knowledge of what I was doing, I caressed his beautiful package, enjoying the odd feel of him in my hands. With each stroke he grew longer and harder, and I was amazed that my touch could do that to him.

  “I think I’m clean enough now.” His words seemed tense as he pulled back and moved under the water to rinse off.

  “You don’t like me touching you?” My tone was insecure, because I really didn’t know what I was doing, and I wanted for some unfathomable reason for him to enjoy it.

  “I love your touch, baby, but it makes me want to fuck you, and I don’t think you’re ready for that again.” To reiterate his words, he slid his hand between my thighs, sliding two long fingers inside my aching core. I gasped and tightened those muscles in surprise.

  Even though I still felt torn, my core flooded immediately at his fingers inside me, making me want him. “I think I do want that again.” His fingers inched out and I whimpered in disappointment.

  He washed off his hand, then turned off the shower, stepping out. “First, we’re going to talk, and if you still want this, then we’ll see.” Grabbing a towel off the rack, he carefully wrapped me in it before getting another for himself.

  He walked out to the bedroom without looking back at me, so I followed. It felt so strange to be in his room now, and I wasn’t sure why but I felt bereft at his sudden coldness. It was almost like a switch had been flipped and he was being very impersonal. I saw the slight blood stains on his comforter, and felt mortified. He didn’t seem to mind, and quickly stripped it off the bed.

  “That’s going to give the staff something to talk about.” There was nothing humorous in his attitude, and I got the impression he was angry.

  I had no idea what I’d done wrong, but instantly started feeling more out of the place. I needed to get out of here, because I was beginning to get a little depressed about what I’d done tonight. I think that was the moment it hit home, that I’d just screwed a stranger. Drying off with the towel, I bent down to pick up my clothes with every intention of getting dressed and asking him to take me home.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” The anger in his voice evaporated and turned to confusion.

  “I think it should be obvious, I’m getting dressed.” When I’m hurt, I get defensive. It’s always been a way to hide my true feelings.

  “And why are you doing that?” Instead of confusion in his voice, now I heard a hint of laughter. The worst thing you can do with me, is make me think you’re laughing at me. I have huge issues with that because growing up I was poor and being made fun of for what I didn’t have.

  Instead of answering him, I slid on my bra and t-shirt, before looking around for my underwear. Before I could find them, he had and dangled them from his fingers. “I don’t think I asked you to leave.” His attitude was playful, but I was pretty much done with this situation.

  “Wasn’t aware I needed your permission.” I reached for my panties and he pulled them out of my grasp. He really knew nothing about me, if he had, he would have known that when I felt hurt or embarrassed the best thing to do was just let me be.

  “Why don’t you stop trying to run, and sit down so we can talk?” I felt like an idiot as he continued to hold my underwear out of reach, and I truly wanted to punch him.

  I so wasn’t in the mood to play games. My feelings were hurt, I’d just lost my virginity to a man I didn’t know, and I just wanted to go somewhere and have a good cry. Since I wasn’t the type to give in to tears, I was starting to get angry on top of that. Obviously it was a night of
many firsts because my eyes flooded and I couldn’t stop the waterworks when they started.

  “Hey, come on, Caitlin, I’m sorry.” He reached out to grab me and I backed away. He stalked forward and caught me in his arms and I completely freaked. Instead of acting like a normal person I started fighting and the only reason I didn’t hurt him is because he was holding me too tightly.

  “I’ll take you home if that’s what you really want, but not until you calm down. Talk to me.” Maybe it was the concern now in his voice, or the fact that I was completely embarrassed by my actions, but I stopped trying to hurt him.

  When I stilled completely in his arms, he relaxed his hold. “I’m going to let you go, but I want you to promise that we’re going to talk.” I nodded my head, wishing I could go back in time and not be such an idiot.

  chapter Four

  Choosing

  He picked up my underwear and handed them to me. His wary look might have been comical if the situation was different. I took the flimsy piece of silk, and slid them back on, instantly feeling a little more control. My gaze landed on my shorts and without paying any attention to him, I walked over, grabbed them up and put those on too. I needed that time to get my emotions back under control.

  When I turned back to face him, he’d slid his boxers back on, and even with the strangeness of this night, I couldn’t help but wish he’d stayed naked. The man was really gorgeous to behold. Awkward was the only way I could describe the atmosphere in the room. I’d just fucked this guy, and now I had no idea what to say to him.

  “Let’s walk down to the kitchen before I forget why we need to talk.” He grinned and the look he gave was so seductive, I wasn’t sure I didn’t want the same thing. It was definitely much easier to be in his bed than thinking about a conversation. I nodded.

  “Shame.” His eyes roamed over me before he shook his head, and I didn’t understand what he was talking about. When he walked out of the room, I followed him obediently. I’d definitely have to think about later why I was willing to do whatever he asked.