Church Read online

  Broken

  Ashley

  His driver took me home, and a part of me was relieved he didn’t follow, the other shattered that he couldn’t be the man I needed. Deshawn and Matteo were asleep when I walked in and I was thankful. Packing as much of my things that would fit in two suitcases, I would ask Deshawn to send out the rest later. My only hope for survival meant getting away from Sebastian.

  Pulling out my phone, I looked up the bus schedule from New York to Tuscaloosa. I booked the last one going out in two hours. I couldn’t afford a plane ticket so thirty-six hours sitting on the Greyhound was my option. My car was still sitting at my granny’s house. Writing a quick note to Deshawn, I told him Sebastian knew everything and that I was heading back to Alabama. Calling a cab, I snuck downstairs to wait.

  This was what I needed to do for me. Everything I’d ran away from back home was now what I craved for my sanity. I’d find a job, rebuild my life, and somehow forget I’d ever met Sebastian Church. The thought of him made my heart ache, but I was made of stronger stuff than that. I deserved happiness, and by George, I would find a way to have it!

  Putting my bags in the back of the taxi, because people in New York are so helpful, not, I forced myself to take deep breaths in and out. I was no longer a scared little girl. If there was one thing Sebastian had given me, it was an inner strength that I would draw on the rest of my life. I was nobody’s stepping stone, nor would I ever be again!

  The bus wasn’t crowded as I boarded, and that could have been the lateness or maybe people didn’t leave the big city for the country? When I pulled out my phone, I was glad I had a ton of books to read. Reading was a pleasure I’d all but given up after meeting him. Who needed romance when you were living out some bad plot in one like I had?

  I refused to cry about it. It had happened. I survived. The world wasn’t going to crumble down around me because of it. “After all, tomorrow is another day,” I quoted the line from Gone with the Wind aloud and laughed without humor. Any southern woman worth her salt knew that quote by heart.

  Somehow, I managed to get some sleep and that took several hours off from the trip. We’d stopped in Raleigh, North Carolina for an hour and I ate, then grabbed more snacks for the rest of the trip. Armed with drinks, chocolate, and chips, I felt a little more human, even though my ass was getting tired of sitting. Thankfully, the bus had Wi-Fi, so I could watch Netflix. I ignored the incoming calls from Deshawn, not because I was angry at him any longer, but I needed time to get my head on straight.

  When we arrived in Tuscaloosa, I wanted to get out and kiss the ground. Instead, I retrieved my luggage and got a cab. I swore I’d never take another one as long as I lived. It was crazy how much they charged. As I pulled up in front of my granny’s house, I was surprised not to feel the depression I anticipated.

  She’d lived a good life, and had been the most important person in my life, but all things change. I guess I realized now that hanging on to the past, didn’t really help anything. Everything was just like I left it. I knew that was thanks to Granny Louise’s best friend, Joe Ann. She promised to come in once a week to keep up the place. Obviously, she kept her word because there was a vase of fresh confederate roses sitting on the worn kitchen table.

  I brought my suitcases back to Granny’s old room and decided on a shower. All that time on a bus made me feel like I needed to clean from head to toe. Going through the motions, I bathed off, dressed in a nightgown, and sat on the bed, not sure what to do with myself. For the next few days, I didn’t venture out except to put groceries in the house. I needed time to deal with my emotions, and somehow find myself again.

  I put in several job applications online, and I could only hope that one of them came through. Deciding to check on my bank account, because I was sure it was dwindling down to nothing now, I almost had a heart attack. Half a million dollars had been put in, and I knew that wasn’t what Sebastian and I agreed on. I almost called him to argue, but then decided if he wanted to pay me an extra hundred grand, so be it.

  I did call Deshawn. He told me that no charges were filed against him, and that he got to keep his job. Sebastian was also working with immigration to keep Matteo’s mother in the states, and he’d gotten married at the courthouse to make sure his husband could stay.

  We joked a little about how he didn’t get the big fancy wedding he’d always wanted, and it felt good to talk about something normal, or even to talk at all to another human being. Things would never be perfect for us again, but I didn’t harbor any ill will toward him.

  Maybe I should have, but that wasn’t who I was. He asked me to come back to the city, but I wasn’t ever leaving home again. Deshawn had been my best friend, but I needed to find a new life with people in that wouldn’t use me the way he had. So, while I wasn’t angry, I also had grown up. He had his life and I was happy for him, now it was time to find mine.

  Days slid into weeks, and I’d gotten a job at a local real estate company managing their books. It wasn’t glamourous but it had chances to grow with the company, and I started studying for my real estate license. I’d even made a few friends there and was slowly building that life I dreamed about. Money wasn’t a real concern anymore, but I knew sitting around idly wasn’t good for me, either.

  Two months later, I felt human again. I’d gotten involved with the church I’d been raised in, had a decent job, and people that I had things in common with. Not only had my confidence improved, but I was learning not to hate being around people. I’d even been asked out a few times, but I wasn’t ready to go that far yet.

  People that I’d known my whole life and felt like we could never be friends, were suddenly talking to me. It was funny how many of them mentioned that I’d always acted stuck up before. I’d been so worried about what people thought of me, that I never took the chance to get to know them. Life has a way of opening your eyes, and I knew I had more to look forward to then I’d ever thought possible.

  The first call from Sebastian didn’t happen until I’d been home over three months. He asked how things were going in my life, and it was strange that talking to him didn’t send me to my knees. We talked on the phone for thirty minutes with him being kind and seeming to care about me.

  I admit when I hung up, a sadness filled me inside so deeply that it made my stomach hurt. Maybe it was time I tried to date. There would never be anyone like Sebastian in my life again, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. We’d been incompatible, and outside of the sex, we had nothing in common. It was some great sex, though.

  A few weeks later I got a call from Thomas, telling me he was coming down on vacation to visit family. He asked if he could take me out, and I decided he was the type of man I probably needed to date. I agreed. Life was moving on, just like it was supposed to. The night of our date, I spent time on my appearance, excited about getting together with him.

  I’d bought a lavender dress and without being over-confident, I could admit it looked good on me. He showed up in a suit and tie and I grinned at his formality. The flowers he’d bought were such a southern gentlemanly thing to do from days gone past that it almost made me cry.

  “That was so thoughtful of you.” I opened the door and let him in and quickly went to find a vase for the colorful bouget of purple carnations and white daisies. “It’s so good to see you.” I don’t think I’d smiled this wide since, well, forever.

  “I’ve missed seeing your beautiful face.” He took my hand in his after I’d finished putting the flowers away and lowered his lips to kiss it tenderly.

  “Mr. Bentley, you know how to spoil a lady.” Laughing softly, I flushed as he gave a semi-bow.

  “A beautiful lady should always be spoiled. So how goes the transition back to southern life?” He was smiling and looked rather dashing. I must admit it was nice being treated this way.

  “It’s so quiet here that sometimes it’s hard to sleep. Amazing what you get used to. How is your family?” Tom felt like an old friend, and it was
odd because we really didn’t know each other that well.

  “I wish I could bottle up some of the sounds and take them home with me.” He held out his arm in a sweet old-fashioned manner, and led me outsides. “They are all doing well. Time seems to stand still here. Outside of my nieces and nephews growing like weeds.”

  He held the passenger door open on his sedan, and I realized that I liked him because he was predictable. Tom was safe, and I didn’t have to worry about overwhelming emotions. We talked for the twenty-minute trip to R Davidson Chophouse, they were known for their great steaks, and I’d eaten here several times.

  Tom kept the conversation going as we ate, explaining how they’d arrested three men in connection with the embezzlement charges. I tried not to remember what I’d given up making sure those people went to jail.

  “Are you still working for Church?” I hadn’t thought to ask, and probably shouldn’t have brought it up. Thinking about him wasn’t good for my digestion. I could still see his face vividly in my mind, but I chalked that down to him being my first.

  “For the company, yes. I hardly see him anymore. He’s been buying up real estate all over the United States.” Tom’s lip curled into a sneer, and it didn’t look good on his handsome face.

  “That’s good then, I guess?” For the first time tonight, the conversation stalled, and I took several sips of my wine to fill in the silence.

  “He became a bigger sonofabitch after you left.” Tom chuckled, then looked appalled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have used that language around you.”

  I grinned, and reached to place my hand over his on the table. “I’ve heard worse. I’m sure he hated not being the one to send me out the door.” Suddenly, the food was no longer appealing to me. “Would you like to get out of here?”

  “Of course. Perhaps you’d like to talk a walk?” At my nod, he held up his hand for the waiter, and after he paid, I insisted he let me handle the tip. He begrudgingly obliged. He was so old-school that I found it amusing in an endearing kind of way.

  We drove to Riverwalk, which had a nice trail down the Black Water river. We held hands like an old married couple and enjoyed the serenity of the night air. It was still in the seventies, even after dark, but not as muggy as it had been earlier today.

  “So, tell me what you’ve been doing since leaving New York.” I loved how focused he was on me.

  “Well, I sat for my real estate license and passed, and the company I was working for doing books, hired me.” His face lit up in happiness, and again, I was thankful that he seemed so concerned about how I felt.

  “I’m so very proud of you.” He stopped and pulled me into his arms, his head lowering to kiss me, and for a moment I froze. The memory of Sebastian telling me how jealous he was, forced itself into my mind and I pulled back. “Forgive me, I overstepped.”

  This handsome, sweet man looked crestfallen and I felt horrible. “No, seriously it’s not you. I think you’re one of the nicest men I’ve ever met, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.”

  “I should kill him for what he did to you.” I didn’t like the darker side of Tom, and shook my head.

  “It took two. I’m sorry that I ruined our date.” I was too. He was a wonderful man who’d went out of his way to treat me well. I guess I still wasn’t over Sebastian.

  “Nonsense. I’m a very patient man, Ashely. I know we live far away now, but I’d like to see you again when I’m in town.” The fact that he wasn’t upset gave me even more respect for him.

  “I’d like that, too.” I meant what I said. I couldn’t imagine having a long-distance relationship, but maybe we could at least be friends. He smiled, then took my hand and we walked a few more miles before turning back to his car.

  We drove back to my house and he talked about his family. I learned that his mother and father were still alive and he had two younger brothers and a sister, along with several nieces and nephews. “So why did you never settle down?” Maybe it was rude, but I was curious. He really was a keeper.

  “I was married once, but things didn’t work out.” The kindness left his voice and I decided not to pry any further. He walked around to open my door when we arrived home, and even followed me onto the porch. “I really enjoyed seeing you again, Ashley. I hope you don’t mind if I keep in touch by phone until I return?”

  “I’d like that.” Without thought, I lifted on my tip toes and kissed him gently on the lips. He seemed shocked for a moment, but then returned my kiss. This time, I didn’t let thought of another man cloud my memories. “Goodnight.”

  I broke the kiss and I could see he wanted more, but I wasn’t rushing things. I’d learned the hard way that moving too fast was a sure way of getting your heart broken. We said our goodbyes, and I waved as he took off down the long dirt road. Tonight, had been nice, and I felt like I was gaining a little of myself back more and more each day.

  I undressed and slid into bed, smiling to myself at the new memory I’d made. It wasn’t until I closed my eyes that a gorgeous, blond-haired, man found me and reminded me how passionate our nights had been. We made love in my bed and I felt like my heart was complete. The dream was so erotic it woke me up, leaving me aching to feel those fingers on me in real life. Punching my pillow, I grumbled his name before trying to go back to sleep. “Sebastian.”

  Heartless

  Sebastian

  I shouldn’t have flown out here without calling her first. Telling myself I needed to check in and make sure everything was okay and congratulate her on getting her real estate license was such a load of shit. The last few months had been sheer hell and I had to see her. If I’d had more than few hours’ sleep a night it was a miracle. I couldn’t close my eyes without craving her next to me in bed. I pulled up my rental car behind her house, wanting to surprise her, but I was the one who’d gotten surprised.

  Thomas Bentley had stood on that porch enjoying the kisses that should’ve belonged to me. Not only that, Ashley had initiated it. If I hadn’t been half crazy with longing, I would have gotten in that car and drove off, leaving her in peace. Taking deep breaths of sweet country air, I told myself if she let him inside I’d take myself out of the picture. I’m not sure that was the truth, and I was glad I wasn’t forced to find out.

  She lived in complete isolation, and it couldn’t be safe. I needed to take her away from this place, and remind her whose bed she belonged in. I felt like a peeping Tom, that damn name again, as I walked around the house, finding her bedroom window, and watching her undress. Ashley was even more beautiful than I remembered, and I couldn’t pull my eyes away.

  She was wearing a cotton nightgown and her hands moved to cup her breasts. I almost came. The sight of her touching herself made me so hard I could barely stand it. I wanted my fingers gliding over that perfect flesh. In sleep, she’d tossed off the covers, raised the hem of her dress and stroked over her pussy, enticing me more than any man should ever be tempted.

  I sensed her frustration when she awoke and punched the pillow and was ready to give her the release she needed. The thought of her being unfulfilled wouldn’t do. My sweet little lover needed my hands on her. I knocked on the window, refusing to break into her house without permission. I’d already broken rules by watching her pleasure herself.

  The startled look in her hazel eyes as she sat up staring at me through the glass pane was priceless. “Sebastian?” Her voice was confused and filled with sleep and I grinned.

  “Invite me in.” I wasn’t taking a step inside until she did. Ashley had to want me more than that pathetic little man she’d kissed earlier!

  Her gaze was still confused as her lips spoke the words that gave me every right I needed, “Come in.” I pushed the window open feeling like some teenager as I propelled my body through the opening. “This is a dream.” She shook her head, looking at me, tears filling those gorgeous eyes.

  “This is not a dream, Ashley.” Walking over to her bed, I ripped her nightgown down the middle, exposing t
hat beautiful body I’d craved to possess. She pulled the tattered pieces together in front and sat up quickly. Her hands trembled as she attempted to cover herself. “Stop!” The words escaped my lips harsher than I intended because I was struggling to not strip down and fuck her like an animal.

  Her hands froze on the material. “You should leave, Sebastian,” she whispered the words softly and I could see she didn’t doubt I was real flesh and blood standing in front of her now.

  “That’s not what you want, though. Is it?” I sat down on the edge of the bed, my hand cupping her pussy, feeling the wetness seeping there. “Tell me you don’t want me to spread your legs wide and devour this succulent banquet, lover. I’ll go and never return.”

  “Please Sebastian,” she whispered, not telling me to leave, and I knew that she wanted this as badly as I did.

  “I want to please you. I want to make love to you in every position imaginable until you admit your body will always be mine.” Two of my fingers slid inside her gripping heat, and she arched off the bed to meet them. “Tell me what you want.”

  “You know I can’t think when you touch me that way.” She stopped trying to hold her gown together and grabbed my wrist.

  “Demand that I stop then.” I smirked as her hand rested over mine, pressing hard, telling me she wanted more and not trying to push me away.

  “I should tell you no.” She bit her lip hard and I rode her slowly with my fingers watching her hips rise and fall with each push and pull.

  “Do it.” I curled my fingers inside her and she cried out in pleasure. “Tell me to stop petting this sweet pussy. I will. All you have to do is say the word.”

  “Love me.” She was so close and I knew I was taking advantage of her body’s weakness. I’d never cared before but I did now. I wanted her to give herself to me completely, without needing to tease her into submission.